Random Insanity: A Detective Conan Story
by Death88
Summary: Just what the title says, random insanity. Death88 has struck again!
1. Fic Snippets

Random Insanity: A Detective Conan Story

Author's Notes: Some random insanity, Detective Conan style! I think I'll probably do some fic snippets now, and maybe some embarrassing situations or something in this next chapter. ON TO THE STORY!

: How can Gin live with it:::

Gin pulls out a gun and points it at Shinichi's forehead.

"I've got you now, Kudo."

Gin blinks. His extremely long hair got caught in the trigger.

"STUPID STUPID STUPID!"

Shinichi decked him with a roundhouse to the face.

: Having a Matrix Moment :

"You take the blue pill, and the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, and you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."

"What is your problem, Ai? Wait… GOD DAMN IT, I TOLD YOU NOT TO WATCH THE MATRIX MARATHON!"

: Matrix Moment Part 2 :

"Mr. Anderson. Surprised to see me?"

"Not really. Wait… did you just call me Mr. Anderson? GOD DAMN IT, THE BLACK ORGANIZATION WATCHED THE MATRIX TOO!"

: Conan discovers fun with fireworks :

"It's good for a boy to express his creativity."

"Yeah, but… this?"

Conan was currently shooting pigeons with fireworks.

: This would make the series a lot shorter :

Conan looks in the glass of the store.

"I'VE BEEN SHRUNK!"

Suddenly, a van crashed into the wall next to Conan. Gin and Vodka fell out, along with a couple empty gin and vodka bottles and a case marked 'APTX-4869 ANTIDOTE'

"That is oddly convenient…"

: Conan deals with thugs like the pros:::

A gangsta walks up to Conan.

"Put yo hands up, my bizzle! Ma nizzle wizzle fizzle shizzle da dizzle pizzle!"

Conan schools the thug back to kindergarten with a pistol whip to the neck.

: It's 3:14 AM. Do you know where Kaitou Kid is:::

Conan looks up to see Kaitou Kid perched on a tree outside staring away into the distance.

"This has got to be a dream."

Conan sneaks to the window and shoots him with a tranquilizer.

: It's 3:19 AM. Do you know where Kaitou Kid is now:::

Ai looks up to see Kaitou Kid perched on a tree outside staring away into the distance.

'_Kaitou Kid. I should call Conan. Or maybe knock him out.'_

Ai threw a conveniently placed piece of heavy lab equipment out the window and nailed Kid in the head.

: It's 3:24 AM. Do you know where Kaitou Kid is now:::

Inspector Nakamori comes home grumbling about Kid getting away at his heist. He looks up to see an unconscious Kaitou Kid taped to the side of his house holding a note that says:

"Shinichi Kudo says HI!"

: Detective Conan is a lot like Seinfeld:::

Conan and Ran are sitting and talking in the living room of the apartment. Suddenly, Heiji flings open the door and slides inside (like Kramer)

"Hey! Seen Kudo?"

"Nope."

"Oh."

Heiji leaves.

: And now here's your 30mg dosage of randomness for today :

Shinichi and Ran were walking along the street. Suddenly, a dead body fell form the sky, and killed someone else. Kogoro came down to investigate, and died of alcohol poisoning. Ran died from shock.

"Screw this."

Shinichi took a pill that was supposed to kill him and shrank down to the size of a 7 year old.

"DAMN IT NOT AGAIN!"

DC (death88's comments): Keep reviewing if you want me to continue. Keep reviewing if you want this to stay a one-shot. All flames will be used to cook hot dogs for the Detective Conan Barbeque, coming soon!

It's All Up To You, So Click, Type, Review! (© 2005 death88)

Thanks to Koru-chan for reminding me to put my slogan in.


	2. Fic Snippets 2!

Random Insanity: A Detective Conan Story

_By Death88_

_CHAPTER TWO!_

Well, I was lying on the couch at 2 AM when I was inspired to write another chapter of all my stories. So I'm back, and with a new computer to boot! Unfortunately, I am no longer allowed to answer reviews in chapters. WAAAAAH! WAAAAAH! WAAAAAH! You saw nothing. Fortunately, if you have a fanfiction dot net account, I can send you a P.M. with a review response! HOORAY! And on that note, the next chapter of Random Insanity.

_Dare to… arrest._

"There is no way you can catch me, the Kaitou Kid, within five minutes."

"Yes, there is."

"No way! We're standing on the top of a building, none of the sides are enclosed, I have my glider, I can always jump off the side, and there are a hundred more ways to evade capture. You see, that's what being the Kaitou Kid is all about…"

Kid turned to face the moon.

"…living a normal life by day, evading the police and fulfilling my objective by night."

Kaitou turned pale as he felt two pairs of handcuffs click on around his hands and his feet. He slowly turned back around to face the grin of his captor.

"Oh damn it. You're a real asshole, Shinichi."

_Ever Watched Law & Order?_

"_In the criminal justice system, there are two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate the crimes, and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories."_

_Law & Order Theme plays_

_LAW PORTION_

_STARRING: Shinichi Kudo as Detective Lennie Briscoe_

_ Heiji Hattori as Detective Rey Curtis_

_ Inspector Megure as Captain Don Cragen_

_ORDER PORTION_

_STARRING: Death88 as Executive Assistant District Attorney Jack McCoy_

_Ran Mouri as Assistant District Attorney Abbie Carmichael_

_ Eri Kisaki as District Attorney Nora Lewin_

_cuts to a scene of Briscoe, Curtis, McCoy, and Carmichael walking down a hallway_

Ran: Am I really qualified to be an Assistant District Attorney?

Death88: Shut up and walk.

Shinichi: What kind of a name is Briscoe anyway?

_CREATED BY DICK WOLF, EDITED BY DEATH88_

_Divine Author Intervention_

Shinichi: Who the hell are you?

Death88: The story was getting boring. I almost lost the motivation to write more. But then I had a wonderful idea.

Shinichi: Which is…?

Death88: DRINKING CONTEST!

LATER…

Everyone: Kogoro wins.

Death88: But we haven't even started the contest!

Ran: Your point?

Death88: I see… Kogoro is disqualified.

Kogoro: WHAT! Why!

Death88: Because… you're a loser. Okay, does everyone know the rules? Good. Round One: Bud Light. GO!

ROUND ONE RESULTS…

Name Inebriety (Drunkenness, 15 MAX)

Shinichi 2

Ran 2

Eri 1

Kogoro DQ

Heiji 2

Kazuha 2

Aoko 2

Kaito 17 (DQ, he was drunk before the contest began)

Death88 2

ROUND TWO: SMIRNOFF

RESULTS

Name Inebriety (Drunkenness, 15 MAX)

Shinichi 6

Ran 5

Eri 3

Heiji 6

Kazuha 5

Aoko 4

Death88 6

ROUND THREE: JACK DANIELS

RESULTS

Name Inebriety (Drunkenness, 15 MAX)

Shinichi 9

Ran 7

Eri 6

Heiji 8

Kazuha 7

Aoko 6

Death88 8

ROUND FOUR: WHATEVER CHEAP SHT KOGORO DRINKS

RESULTS

Name Inebriety (Drunkenness, 15 MAX)

Shinichi 15

Ran 15

Eri 15

Heiji 15

Kazuha 15

Aoko 15

Death88 15

WINNER: Nobody!

_Fight!_

"OW! OW! OW! Stop it, Ran!"

"Hah hah! You like that, don't you, Shinichi!"

"Oh, but look! I have a secret weapon!"

A gunshot rang out.

"Aw! I got a Game Over!"

"How about that? Guess you ran out of money."

"I could have sworn I had a twenty… SHINICHI! YOU STOLE MY TWENTY!"

Shinichi received a sound beating as one Kaito Kuroba watched from atop the Virtual Reality Fighting game.

_What A Short Chapter!_

This isn't another bit, this is the end. What, you wanted more. Geez, looks like somebody's developing a God complex. Or at least a Control Death88 complex. Oh yeah, remember…

It's All Up To You, So Click, Type, Review!

_New: Click, Type, Review, Or I'll Kill You!_

_Both © DEATH88_


End file.
